Human Nature- in my opinion

Basic human nature- eating, sleep, sex, defecation, urination
Complex- emotion, speech, relations, the psychological

These terms are a few of many that describe us at our simplest and broadest levels. Each can be brought down to multiple levels that explain us individually and make us unique. Often times we combine basic and complex features of our nature making things even more complex. Example- sex and emotion. To me this is what separates very much from animals. The ability to feel emotion. The ability to love and feel intimacy with out or with a physical act such as sex. Sex in its most basic form yes is the means for creation and the extension of a species but with humans it is more than that. It is building bonds. It is developing family and those ties that allow us to feel close to one another and appreciated. This is yet another thing that sets us from animals. There are some exceptions of course with the sense of family (example: wolves, lions) but most have their kids feed them (basic needs) and set them on there own without much of any emotional or intimate contact. There are also human exceptions to this also. There are many who love for the pleasure of that feeling that they get from it and they develop limited emotional ties to that individual and move on to the next person or they maybe forced to resort to using sex as a means for survival. These individuals however are not wishing to build bonds and do not wish to be tied down with kids and are merely interested in the physical feelings and biological fulfillment of the act of sex. There are of course many other combinations of complex and basic nature such at emotion and eating but that will have to wait for another time

Humans are complex. Every life form has its own unique complexities. Who knows if anyone will truly understand it all.

Special

Everyone is special.. Everyone is unique.. In a way they contradict themselves. If everyone is unique they are then not an individual but a part of a crowd that is joined by the concept that each of them is special in some way. So therefore is everyone really unique because unique would be normal and everyone would be it and not be the definition of what unique is. Sigh, yet again I am over thinking things. If only I would apply this energy I spend on pointless ponderings towards something more productive.. hmm perhaps the pile of schoolwork that is just staring at me right now.
Anyways.. being unique what is it that sets us apart as individuals but yet binds us together as a whole. Am I unique? Is there something about me that allows me to stand out from the crowd. I mean come on this amazingly hot body and model perfect face have to set me out right. Psh it would be nice if that previous statement was true. I guess I am unique in the manner of my appearance because I hate the girly girly stuff of the world. Yet I for some reason crave to one of them from time to time. A goddess whom men and women envy. Maybe my superior artistic skills just blow everyone out of the water. Again, I wish. My photography is mediocre at best and I can draw one fine stick man. So what makes me worth it?

I know many of my friends have so many qualities that I envy. Some of them a tad bit strange and I myself have only heard about but never been able to see or experience which would be kick ass I might add. Almost everyone of my friends has some sort of quality that I wish to acquire and make a part of myself. Rayne's charm and artistic abilities. Tasha's spontaneity and humor. Alisha's determination and faith. Celeste's ability to empathize and make things seem simple. I could go on and on.

So now I am left with the thoughts of what about me is desirable if anything? What sets me apart? I have trouble seeing it.

Where's my Blue Sky

Lately I have been more clouded than not. Clouded by emotions. Clouded by confusion. I just want to see the blue sky for once. Reach out into the sun and have my questions answered. Just to be able to lay in the grass and let the negativity flow from me. Instead I am plagued with rains drops turning into floods of emotions and desolate thinking. I feel trapped in a wasteland my only friend the vulture circling above me hoping for me to trip and not get up. I have limited reason to feel lost. I have my friends and my family but yet I feel consistently let down and worthless.

Set back after set back. Let down after let down. I still manage to shuffle on for the sake of others. They are my lifeline pulling me thru life. Every now and then a one line is cut or is growing weak and my course changes or I stop just for a while. I have no sense of self only of what others have made me become. Sometimes that being is a monster selfish and wanting. Other times that creature is so weak and scrawny someone should just put it out of its misery.

But this is not all new to you dear readers.. If anyone reads these at all. You obviously have heard this rant many times before in so many different forms. Most of you wish probably I would get over it and rant about other things but at the moment this is my release. This is the one entity that I can tell my true feelings even tho I believe no one really seems to care about my rants and ramblings but why should they? Even tho I know of some of the individuals whom claim to read this but I know they do not because they never ask about it. So Im gunna let my true emotions flow as the blind remain blind.