Lately I have been more clouded than not. Clouded by emotions. Clouded by confusion. I just want to see the blue sky for once. Reach out into the sun and have my questions answered. Just to be able to lay in the grass and let the negativity flow from me. Instead I am plagued with rains drops turning into floods of emotions and desolate thinking. I feel trapped in a wasteland my only friend the vulture circling above me hoping for me to trip and not get up. I have limited reason to feel lost. I have my friends and my family but yet I feel consistently let down and worthless.
Set back after set back. Let down after let down. I still manage to shuffle on for the sake of others. They are my lifeline pulling me thru life. Every now and then a one line is cut or is growing weak and my course changes or I stop just for a while. I have no sense of self only of what others have made me become. Sometimes that being is a monster selfish and wanting. Other times that creature is so weak and scrawny someone should just put it out of its misery.
But this is not all new to you dear readers.. If anyone reads these at all. You obviously have heard this rant many times before in so many different forms. Most of you wish probably I would get over it and rant about other things but at the moment this is my release. This is the one entity that I can tell my true feelings even tho I believe no one really seems to care about my rants and ramblings but why should they? Even tho I know of some of the individuals whom claim to read this but I know they do not because they never ask about it. So Im gunna let my true emotions flow as the blind remain blind.
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