Story time yet again. Another pile of stories with the evidence the words you speak or type. It hard sometimes to believe especially when one is trying their best to study to a field that would totally contradict those thoughts and perhaps establish a case study just on what I know because it so interesting and peculiar. I have a few theories as to what is going on. Simple quick theories that with out much study and a little evidence there is support for it.
Theory A) This organization is real. I freaking hate them. They need to leave Rayne alone he has enough mental anguish as it is. They confuse the hell outta me by forcing others to tell me secrets and pull me along this line that I thinly walk in normal life making me wonder if I myself am going insane. What purpose do they have by telling outsiders or allowing outsiders or allowing outsiders who do find out to live for that matter. Why allow leaks? Perhaps they believe no one will believe it and pass it off as crazy or that person as crazy therefore saving their asses. To me if I was a secret organization and I had some loose ends I sure as hell would tighten them any way possible and take care of the loopholes. I am nothing special and have no particular skills they could use except for the fact I care deeply about Rayne and for some reason trusts me. Rationale for supporting this theory: Members/Former members have detailed and quick recall of events, some potential photographic evidence seen in a binder I found along with photos I was told of doubles, the number of people I am told that believe and know about this. Rationale for doubt: I have not spoken to those whom claim to still be further involved, I have not spoken to families of members who know and asked their perceptions, limited support for former members, former member has severe mental illness whose symptoms can greatly distort reality, claims of doubles may be rationalized with MPD, elaborate detailed stories can be seen in numerous disorders, no other physical evidence that this exists beyond spoken word and a few photos.
Theory B): This organization is a disillusion of a seriously ill individual who has been lead to believe all these horrifying and incredible things thus scaring him for life. MPD is a potential diagnoses to explain doubles- Appearance is same but attitudes different. Occurs during times of extreme stress or psychosis. Potentially working together with schizophrenia or schizotypal personality disorder enhancing disillusions. Explanation for others Share Disillusion Disorder or the attempt to escape reality or the attempt manipulate another into holding on to them.
Theory C): It is a mixture of both theories. The organization exists but MPD may be a current or past potential.(would explain current memory loss/lapses in individual and claims of being missing for extended periods of time) Stories may be distorted due to mental illness but still may have some truth to them.
I can theorize all I want. I have been trying to examine this and understand this from the day Rayne told me his secrets and continued to do so. From the weeks I started having dreams of him coming out to me that he was some sort of alien before other info was revealed. I don't know what to think anymore and it is driving me up the wall. I want answers. Solid answers. However, I am no longer going to let this be a focus on my life. I am not going to be paranoid no more. Cautious to a degree potentially but I am not going to let this consume my constant bickering in my head. The answer maybe important but the most important thing to me is being there for Rayne right now. In the present and not some screwed up past. He is right it is time to move on. It is time to find our true lives and not live in whatever past we have and I am going to try and do that for my own personal dilemmas in life.
Unclouded
(yes my psych class in partially to blame for this rant )
No comments:
Post a Comment