How amusing it is to try and lead people to conclusions with little hints. You watch them squirm with anticipation and then bam they get it. It is like a cruel game. Other times tho it seems that the person is so blind as to what is truly happening. Are they completely unaware of the messages I am sending out? Sure I will admit that I can put up a very good mask as to what I truly feel and give of vibes of content but seriously is it that good that no one can really see what my heart is like at times. Every action put forth by an individual has meaning! Whether or not we consciously notice it is the issue. Even the slightest action, the usage of word, or the slightest glance can have the deepest meaning. Why is it so many of fail to try and interpret it and question, well why did they do this and why did they say this, what about the tone they use. I am not a great reader of people, I can often tell their distress and see thru the wall they put up to hide it but as much as judgement of character I have issues with being to open. I know of one person tho who I swear looks at you and bam they have a fairly consistent view of who you are and so far has been only wrong a few times. I would save myself some grief if I had that ability. I just wish sometimes that someone would try and see the hints I drop and the actions I take. See what my eyes are really hiding as I smile at you. I am a chameleon. I can be who ever you want me to be. I often do that with friends. I mold myself to be whomever they need at the moment even if that puts me in a poor situation. I blend in and try and make things seem right even tho I know that I myself have many inner demons that need to be taken care of. It just surprises me as to how many aspects of myself I have created. As a youngster- friendly and outgoing. Elementary school- withdrawn and sad. Middle thru High School- Angry, violent, withdrawn, random, manipulative Current-? I just do not know who I am any more. I am each a piece of the person around me.. a Frankenstein monster of friendships and tears.
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