I know your lonely... those four words reverberating in my mind. How can you have read me so well when everyday I make myself about everyone else. Sigh my friend you are going to be great at your career is all I can say. Year after year neither I nor anyone has said those words until to recently. Leaving with the truth I hide from myself. Yes, I am very lonely. Sure I have friends and family but ultimately I just want someone to love and be loved back for once. Someone to return my hugs with equal warmth and strive to want to see me instead of a dominantly one sided relationship at times. The hugs and subtle physical touches do help qwell my demands for partnership to a degree but ultimately I go home to a home or room that is empty besides my family and I curl up at night wishing for the warmth of someone beside me even if it is just a friendly one.
You stick beside these guys you like so much even when they are not interested in you because you hope they will see in the end what you have all done for them and that you were the one always there for them in their times of need. Sigh, once again my friend is remarkably good. Yes, I do this very often I know this but it gives me some sort of joy and something to put effort into and gets other darker thoughts off my mind worrying about others. I am only human and crave what I cannot have due to this gotta have it now mentality that we have been raised in.
Seems my friend is able to find a lot of the missing pieces that I have hidden but she will never ultimately understand the depth of what I have on my mind. The confusion, the emptyness, the dreams, and so much more.
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